Text — Wait, nevermind.
I have time for something, how about that! So let’s get started.
GTA IV, Post Completion.
What was done right:
• The cars. Handling of the more “advanced” cars is a great mix of realism and arcade handling. The crunch when you go careening into a median is delightfully nauseating, as is the damage to the vehicle.
• Some missions. The bank robbery (one of Packie’s missions) had a great Heat feel to it, and the over-the-shoulder aiming really helped put you in the moment.
What was done wrong:
• Everything else. Keeping people I meet happy and entertained is something done in the real world, and is a terrible game mechanic. It feels like work. I don’t want to work in a game, I want to play a game. This is why Saint’s Row remains the best GTA ever - they cut out all the bullshit and focused on the mayhem. I can’t wait for the sequel.
• The game felt like a giant Tamagotchi. Captivating at first, then once your character and the storyline have matured, and you eventually complete the sequence of events, that’s it. There’s no replay value. (Yes, I have owned Tamagotchis. Yes, plural.)
• The story stunk. Nothing happened. No conflict, no resolution, aside from a ton of allusion to a crisis in the main character’s home country. Frankly, I wanted to play *that* game. The voice acting was damn good though.
• But here’s the big one. I have a big 60” HDTV at home. Playing great looking games on a set this size is a total trip. Assassin’s Creed was the most immersive gaming experience I’ve had in the longest time - the combination of fantastic controls and incredible visuals made for an addicting time. But GTA IV breaks all immersion. Here’s what I should be seeing:
And here’s my actual experience:
Yeah, that’s a problem. Don’t say you haven’t had the same experience, because I won’t believe you. Anytime I’m in a car going faster than a snail, I fixate on the minimap as it’s the only indicator of where I need to go. So I find myself traversing this large, expansive game environment using a 2D map only a few inches in diameter.
Saint’s Row solved this a long while back, by putting a semi-transparent 3D directional arrow about 1/4 down from the top of the screen (along with a minimap, by the way). This small addition meant I could sail through the game environment and actually experience it - get immersed in it - because the only time I needed an actual map was to locate my destination. After that, never had to take my eyes off the road.
• For a game called “Grand Theft Auto,” when you have a few cop cars on your tail, the game refuses to spawn any cars. This is most aggravating when you have to ditch your wreck and find new transportation - you can walk for minutes without finding a *single damn car.*
So. Overall, 6/10 if a number must be given.
Zero Punctuation fan goodies.
A bunch of great single scenes from Yahtzee’s hysterical game reviews, in Photoshop format. He’s never done a review that I didn’t totally agree with - though honestly, I thought Bioshock wasn’t close to being a game of the year. Still haven’t gotten more than maybe 1/10th of the way in before getting bored to tears. I think it’s that there’s nothing in the game to care about, and I can’t force myself to push on to *find* something to care about.
I throw these in the corner of my favorite desktop pics. They make me grin. Sample included. Link action. I’m sure there will be more added in a future update.
The desktop pic used is one created by the talented Psychopulse.
iDisk after the Mobile Me update, sucks.
I have a .Mac subscription, recently converted to MobileMe.
iDisk has always stunk on ice. It was always dreadful. I thought hey, maybe they improved things for the new MobileMe service.
I also have, and adore, Dropbox. If I could I’d just keep talking about it.
Get this:
I want to upload a 13.5MB file, via 2Mbps upstream.
Dropbox, 6 seconds.
MobileMe iDisk, 3 F✗✗✗ING MINUTES.THREE. 180 seconds.
Good lord. Apple really needs to give those guys a metric ton of money, their own department, like “Room 104 - Things That Are Awesome,” and ditch iDisk completely.
Speaking of Apple…
Still no real-world iPhone testing for the new 3G model. Don’t get me wrong, I had the same issue with my previous Samsung phone, but I really expect more from Apple.
If there’s any alert dialog onscreen (an SMS, calender notification, etc), the alarm clock won’t go off.
Seems like if they gave iPhones to say, 50 people, even just employees, *someone* would have used the alarm clock and coincidentally had an alert dialog up at the time the alarm was supposed to go off. And if not, it should have been caught during internal testing.
Fail.
And that’s all for today, kids.
