Sony Move, Bitch, Get Out The Way

Brought home Killzone 3 for PS3 today, and it finally hit just how bad the PS3 “experience” is compared to every other goddamn gaming device out there.

New game for the Xbox 360? Insert disc, press a button, if there’s an update tell it OK, and play. (Okay, I usually install the game to the hard drive first, too.)

New game for iOS? Download, tap, and play.

New game for Wii? Insert disc, point at the game, and play.

Oh but no, here’s what it’s like with Killzone 3…

1. Insert disc.

2. Hit a button.

Good so far…

3. Suffer through 10 seconds of Move safety warnings.

This kills me as I don’t even have Move controllers nor an Eyetoy camera. Why the fuck doesn’t it autodetect?

4. Game launches.

5. There’s an update. OK, I want the update. Download, install.

6. Game quits and relaunches.

7. Suffer though another 10 seconds of Move safety warnings.

8. Game loads.

9. Suffer through 5 seconds of epilepsy warnings.

Really? It’s fucking 2011. If your stupid ass doesn’t know if it has epilepsy, you best ask someone that knows.

10. Select language.

This is where I’m up to right now. I really fucking hope step 11 is Play, because this is entirely too many things.

[Image courtesy of the fine folks @ Destructoid.]